loneliness

Keep me where the light is…

Loneliness – a word so powerful that I believe its impossible to give it only one defining meaning.

There’s the physical type of loneliness where your sat in a room on your own wishing for someone to come and join you. When your wandering the streets striving for the carefree interactions you witness all around you.

There’s the emotional kind – the type ‘they’ write quotes about. Where your standing in the middle of a crowded room feeling like no-one understands you. The type that your mind tries to decipher to understand before the tears start to fall. Your mind building walls to protect you that are inadvertently pushing other people away.

Then there’s the type of loneliness that burrows itself into the soul. The type that has no signs until its worked its way so deep inside you there is no way of letting it go. All you crave is to find another pair of eyes that speak and understand the hurricane within. Someone who might even have the same storm brewing inside of them. The same storm that hits when you realise saying ‘I’m fine’ has no meaning anymore. That there the only words you can bring yourself to say, unaware of the damage they are causing until you don’t see the sun in sight anymore. The darkness has swallowed you whole and now you need to find a way to build a home in the dark.

What most people don’t realise however is that you may live in the dark but it doesn’t mean your life sees nothing of value. There’s a different kind of beauty found in the dark. The stars shine that much brighter here. The darkness sets out a different path and after a while your eyes learn how to adjust. It forces you to look within to become so in tune with yourself, to know your wants and beliefs that soon your not so desperate to hand yourself over to someone else. You understand now that you are enough to create your own happiness.

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